I need to get off my A$$ (Word-full Wednesday)

             I really don't know what to say or do here anymore... So much has happened in the past four months and I feel like I have gotten nothing done. I have paint cans sitting on the front porch and boxes stacked to the ceiling in various corners of my "new" home. I am overwhelmed by the painting, fixing and the unpacking that needs to be done. I made the comment the other day that when we moved I left all of my domestication at the old house. H agreeing said that I don't do shit anymore. I know haven't washed a dish unless I needed it. I have had to buy 1,000 paper plates I am currently twitching my nose (it's not working) at that pile of clean laundry on the couch no one ever uses. It is all pretty sad. I want to unpack but as soon as I do I run across a photo or t-shirt and break down into tears over my mom. It really doesn't help that my Grandmother came by and unloaded all of my mothers things under my carport. I made H put everything but the photos in the shed. I don't know whats wrong with me. This move was supposed to make me happy and it has in a way but it has also made me as mad as a hornet. I hate the new school, both of my honor roll students are bring home test grades that are D's and I don't know what to do about it. I like the fact I know where I am going when I need to go somewhere. My aunt has moved closer to us which is pretty nice seeing how the girls love to spend time with her. But something just feels off. At least at the old house I didn't know anyone so I didn't mind being home all day or not seeing grown-ups but now we are close to everyone and we still don't see them or talk to out friends who live 15 minutes from us now. It also might be the fact that I hate at least one half of all the couples that we know or the fact that I am not a day time drinker (if any) that some people tend to be. It just feels like I am living in a big mess of drama and junk. So I guess I better go fake clean the kitchen and stop bitching about everything and just do it! 

I need to get off my A$$ (Word-full Wednesday)

             I really don't know what to say or do here anymore... So much has happened in the past four months and I feel like I have gotten nothing done. I have paint cans sitting on the front porch and boxes stacked to the ceiling in various corners of my "new" home. I am overwhelmed by the painting, fixing and the unpacking that needs to be done. I made the comment the other day that when we moved I left all of my domestication at the old house. H agreeing said that I don't do shit anymore. I know haven't washed a dish unless I needed it. I have had to buy 1,000 paper plates I am currently twitching my nose (it's not working) at that pile of clean laundry on the couch no one ever uses. It is all pretty sad. I want to unpack but as soon as I do I run across a photo or t-shirt and break down into tears over my mom. It really doesn't help that my Grandmother came by and unloaded all of my mothers things under my carport. I made H put everything but the photos in the shed. I don't know whats wrong with me. This move was supposed to make me happy and it has in a way but it has also made me as mad as a hornet. I hate the new school, both of my honor roll students are bring home test grades that are D's and I don't know what to do about it. I like the fact I know where I am going when I need to go somewhere. My aunt has moved closer to us which is pretty nice seeing how the girls love to spend time with her. But something just feels off. At least at the old house I didn't know anyone so I didn't mind being home all day or not seeing grown-ups but now we are close to everyone and we still don't see them or talk to out friends who live 15 minutes from us now. It also might be the fact that I hate at least one half of all the couples that we know or the fact that I am not a day time drinker (if any) that some people tend to be. It just feels like I am living in a big mess of drama and junk. So I guess I better go fake clean the kitchen and stop bitching about everything and just do it! 

I don't wanna grow up...

                      Tomorrow is my husbands birthday which means 6 months from today will be mine. I honestly dread birthdays, especially my own. Its not so much the getting older part but its the gifts, stress, sadness and drama that comes with birthdays. I always try to make a big deal with the kids and my husbands birthday, we usually just stay at home but I always decorate and cook the persons favorite dinner and a cake. But it never fails to stress me out to the max. I don't care if I start planning 6 months ahead of time. By the end of it all I am sad because I end up forgetting about things like cards or taking pictures on the child's actual birthday. I also hate buying and receiving gifts. I try to keep a set number of items for each child , plus my older two have birthdays about two months before Christmas. No matter how hard I try I end up buying more crap that they do not need. 

          Maybe I should just grow up and remember that the gifts and decorations are not important but the time spent with them is what matters. Which sounds like a good idea, but the thought of that pisses me off again. Because for the past 4 years I have not seen my family on any of my kids birthdays. Its always just our kids H and maybe one friend of my oldest daughter. (I really don't know anyone that lives near me.) I know I am the one who moved away but it is still sounds unfair especially to the kids that were born after we moved. When my oldest two kids were younger we always had big parties and everyone came. For a few years we still went down to see my family but now that we have 4 kids it just doesn't happen anymore. I can't stay at any one's house due to room and a hotel is more money down the drain. I just really hate all of it, maybe I am just generally bitching about nothing.