Living the Glamorous Life

      I have this friend who has a sweet job, a cool son and a steady man. She used to live her life through me seeing how I was the first to get married, buy a house, have a baby and so forth. So like a fool she thinks I know everything there is to know about life. So when I call her to speak to someone besides Dora, she starts to bitch about having find work appropriate top and having to get dolled up at 6am everyday. Then whenever I say something like I want a paying job or remark her going out and her mother watching her son. She says something smart-ass like "But then you can't stay home and expect your bills to get paid." or "We can't all be stay at home mommies." Her comments make it sound like I am Betty Draper tossing back cocktails and getting my hair done then after that I dash home just in time for my husband to bring me a new set of pearls and the nanny has dinner on the table. The truth is I haven't had a drink or my hair done in 23 months and I don't think I have ever gotten a gift for no reason at all much less a nanny! Which would sound glamorous to me but ya know between all the soaps, bon bons and manicures someone has to take care of the laundry, dirty diapers & dishes.

        So what do I do all day? Not much of anything, because after I clean up the oj, pick up the pajamas off the bedroom floor, wash the wet bedsheets, feed the baby, wash dishes, clean up whatever random lotion/makeup/marker the 3yo has gotten into, all while holding a fussy baby and talking to whatever random person who just called me like I have time to chat. Then I get to prep dinner, help with homework, cook, watch them eat dinner (for I am too busy bouncing a baby and chasing cups and spoons that fly off the table), bathe 4 kids, wash clothes, get them in bed, feed the baby and pick up the kitchen again. At some point I pass out on the couch just to wake at 2am to feed the baby and get pissed because I see drinks still on the table from last night so I have to pick them up. By then I am too exhausted and annoyed to do anything else! Now don't get me wrong my house is far from spotless, it will never be model home clean but I am very good at fake cleaning and organizing mess.

   I know some people may think, "That's a lot of work, if you was such a bother to you than why did you have so many kids?" I didn't have "so many" kids I had just enough. Any mother would understand that. I love being here for all of my children everyday, having dinner all together at home and not having to worry about having enough sick days to get off  to see their play or honor roll assembly.

The truth is I get a lot of other remarks or "ohs" about being a stay at home mom, like it is such a shock to see a mother stay with her children during the day in the 21st century. I am not lazy or uneducated, It honestly started out as an maternity thing with child number 3 then we moved and it was cheaper to stay home than the price for child care and gas. One day I will get everything cleaned and organize the way I want. I may even get a paying job if my next get rich fast plan doesn't work out. But as for right now I like being a stay at home mom, pony tail, diaper cream manicure and all.

I survived the first day of Winter Break!... Not really

Ahhh what a day it has been! I remember being so ready for winter break when I was a kid. Lazy days of sleeping till noon staying in jams all day & watching movies all night. Then staying up as late as I could, even faking asleep when my dad came in to check on me. I always had a house full of friends, for some reason mine was the house to go to, yet the smallest of everyone I knew. I went to an upper class school but I was very messed up middle class, my mom was a medical assistant and dad was and RN in the Army. They lived together from the time i was 9 till 16 yet had divorced when I was 2. My father remarried when I was 7. It went down hill when he came back from overseas.But I am pretty close to him. My mother who wasn't really a "mom" she just made up for it by buying me everything I wanted. She was also previously married and in the divorce her ex got custody of my sister.... (not sure why). So I faked it enough to make it through school then moved out. In 2000 my mother had gastric bypass surgery and after not finding the man of her dreams she became a wino. Lost her job, her licence and I took over her car. She went rehab and fried all her brain cells. One of the many reasons I moved 125 miles away from her.

Fast forward 10 or so years. I was really looking forward to winter break mostly the sleeping in part, bc heck I stay in jams all day anyway. Well for some stupid reason the whole state got out of school last Friday, but not us. This year may kids where expected to go to school today but, uhh we didn't. After cleaning up one kids room we where all exhausted. So as always I woke up on the couch at 2 am then moved to the bed and overslept. Well for some crazy reason today started out okay until the kids dad/the man I married(ineedanameforhim) went to work. Then all hell broke loose, the baby who was happily playing in his walker started crying, the phone rang, I was stuck in a laundry pile so I couldn't find the phone. Kids started fighting over the tv. I gave up. So me and baby boy went to play in his room. Then my mother called she made a little sense until she started repeating herself. So that ended in a hang up call. After the dust settled with that I went to feed baby boy in the kitchen. Next thing I knew yelling started back within 5 minutes baby food went everywhere and I stepped on glass and had to take a shower, all 5 of us were crying. So currently my house looks like MTVs spring break. I have a cut on my foot, ears are ringing, head hurts,cans are everywhere,panties in the bathroom floor, clothes & hangers on den the floor, dishes all over the house I don't know if I will sleep tonight and if so whose bed/couch it will be on. This is only day 1 with 14 more to go! All alone no MIL, gma or ex to send them off to. Save me!