I am a statistic wrapped in a juice box!

      After a whole mess of baby daddy drama we split (I don't take returns). His father and sister saw the baby on the weekends and he ran the streets while I worked. Then I ended up trying to be 18 and went out after work some. Not the smartest thing, but I wanted a life. I didn't get in much trouble but had a few late nights. (I may skip a few things here but lets just say I did it again...) By 20 I had a son and was married. It didn't last long due to him being not ready to be married. So once again I was single but living in my own place with 2 kids and working 2 jobs paying daycare alone. I had gotten my ged because by this time I was to busy working so I could live. Yet I wasn't even bar legal yet!
         
                            Fast forward to 2011 my now half grown daughter is 10 and a honor roll student. She is healthy and knows I am much younger than other parents. I am now married to a man who is not the babies father and my children understand that. We now have additional children, we were in a relationship before I was with the "baby daddy" so he knows most of my life story.

                     But whats was with this crazy-messed up-not so happy- life story? My reasons for posting this out in the open are number 1 I have never really told anyone much of this and I feel better to get it off my chest and number 2 I am sick of seeing and hearing how "Teen Moms" are perceived on television. There are a few different types of teen mothers. I know of a few that never grew up and they let their mothers take custody of the child or keep their baby but could care less about taking care of them. Some choose other options and move on to better themselves and some just do it all over again with the same dumb ass guy. Just last winter I went to the school for parents day and I was the only parent the other 2 that showed up where grandparents. I didn't know why until another little girl said to me... "Me and my three friends have something in common, our dads are in jail and we live with our grandparents." I was confused as was those poor little girls. Seems most of them had been legally adopted and their names changed. So I am pretty happy to say I wasn't a statistic in that area.

                       Now I do currently stay home with my younger children, due to money and I also already feel as if I don't spend enough time with them. If I had an away from home job I would be paying 200$+ in day care a week and my poor house would be in a wreck more so than it is.Unlike the girls on "Teen Mom" my hair isn't professionally colored, I haven't had my nails done in years and I don't buy clothes for myself. It isn't a money issue even though it would be better if I finished school and had a degree. But it is the matter of putting my kids first which is something I will and have always done. I also look and feel twice my age. I still get spoken to as a teenager when it comes to the school or random people who do not know me. I also almost feel like everything I do for my oldest I have to do it better to prove to her and the world that I am not 16 anymore. I am not proud that my life started at 16, I have missed alot of important things. I will always regret dropping out of high school and missing prom, I also dropped out of college because I had to move miles away due to rent. I do miss "home" and being a teen but I do not regret taking care of my responsibilities.

Here are a few statistics from candiesfoundation.org

• Fewer than half of teen mothers receive a high school diploma – fewer than 2% earn a college degree by age 30.

• Teen mothers face incredible challenges. They are more likely to be unemployed and live in poverty.

• 8 out of 10 fathers don’t marry the mother of their child.

• Daughters of young teen mothers are 3 times more likely to become teen mothers themselves.

• Sons of teen mothers are twice as likely to end up in prison.


I just may be a statistic but with this I am hoping some mother, daughter or teacher takes it to heart and talks to their child because mine didn't. Honestly sex was never talked about at home or school I still can't even say the word. I will say being a mom at Any age isn't a walk in the park but as a teen it is harder. I am pretty sure my sons won't end up in jail. The oldest is pretty darn smart when it comes to right and wrong. I am also damn sure my daughters will not get knocked-up because I will lock them in a room until they are done with college and make them wear ugly clothes as long as I can. As for the rest, what can you say. As for me I "chose" the path for my life now I just have to live it the best I can. Thanks for wasting you time here with me. I hope to post on a lighter note next time.
  XOXO

No fairy tale here.......... part 4

   I really don't remember much of the hospital stay. My mother moved back into our home and took a week off to help me. I didn't have many problems within the first few weeks but I do remember looking like some one threw me down a flight of stairs. I had bruises all over my arms from IVs and my hair was falling out. I also was supposed to be going back to high school at 2 weeks postpartum, I did my school work at home and turned it in. Just to find out I was automatically failed in 3 classes for attendance. I had no clue what to do about school I could start a private or home school but with no job and a new baby who was going to pay for it and watch her? Then I found out I had to wait till the baby was 6 weeks old and had shots to put her in day care. That would be after the first of the year and school was going to be halfway over, so I was told to wait till next fall. So what do I do now? I was 16 and wasn't enrolled in school or working. Heck I didn't even have my drivers license yet.  My boyfriend was younger than me but had a car and license so when it came to having to take the baby to the doctor or go to the store I had to depend on him and he drove a Datsun that was older than me. I needed my own car for me to get around and the baby to be safe. Some how I talked my mom in buying me a new red 4 door Chevy. I was super stoked but wait I still had no license. I talked my dad into taking me in my new car. I passed the test then came the end to get my papers to take to the dmv and I was stopped in my tracks, turns out you can't have you license unless you are enrolled in school. But I wasn't... I managed to tell them that I was a mom with a dependent and I had to get a letter from the child's doctor to prove that. Then I was allowed my license.  

             
             While I was waiting for a new school year me and the child's father were offered to move in his dads rental house. Seeing how he had a job and we lived pretty far away from each other we decided to move in together. Moving out at 16 really isn't that hard if you know the landlord. The power/phone/gas co will set it up in your name with no age verification. But paying them is another thing. My bf had a pretty good job at 16 but with odd hours. I was kind of scared to be alone in that house. So he found a full time day job closer to the house. Every week I got his pay check and took out some for bills, gas and groceries for the week. But by the end of the month we where eating ramen noodles and oatmeal. I am very stubborn and proud so I never asked my parents or family for money. I ended up getting a night time job waiting tables. I was doing pretty good by myself then till the baby daddy took my hours of working as his time to party. He got very stupid and started hanging around the wrong people. I only lived with him for around 9 months then while he was at work I moved out to my moms. I shoved all i could in my car. But I left some of my things and never got them back. The baby-daddy drama never stopped. On one hand I wanted to run as far away as I could and on the other I felt bad because It wasn't fair that the baby wouldn't have a father.

                    Back at my moms I saved enough for the enrollment fee for daycare and I re-enrolled myself in school. Every morning I would get me and the baby ready I would drop her off and I would head to school, after school I had to be at work by 4. So most days I would get my mother to pick her up from day care and watch her till I got home which was after 10 and I still had to do home work and take a shower. That seemed to all work for a while until sleep and not being able to spend time with my child caught up with me. I started being late for school and had to do my class work in Retract, which is basically a jail in school. I got my work done but you couldn't take test or learn anything. That lasted a week at a time so when I made it back to class I was behind again. I still really liked school but by this time I was 18 and making up some 10th grade classes. I was never going to catch up. Then for a whole week the baby was sick I didn't have a stay at home mom or grandparent, even if I did it was my child who was sick so it was my job to take care of her. So that's what I did and when she was better I took my self back up to the school and dropped out. It sucked.... In the hallway I ran into most of my friends. I really didn't know that was the last time I would speak to them.. I picked up day shift at work and that was my life.. I worked from 10-4:30 mon-sat when I wasn't working I was fighting with the ex and spending time with the baby. While all my friends were going out and getting ready for prom I was home doing  laundry and washing clothes. How was I an old lady at 18?

Living the Glamorous Life

      I have this friend who has a sweet job, a cool son and a steady man. She used to live her life through me seeing how I was the first to get married, buy a house, have a baby and so forth. So like a fool she thinks I know everything there is to know about life. So when I call her to speak to someone besides Dora, she starts to bitch about having find work appropriate top and having to get dolled up at 6am everyday. Then whenever I say something like I want a paying job or remark her going out and her mother watching her son. She says something smart-ass like "But then you can't stay home and expect your bills to get paid." or "We can't all be stay at home mommies." Her comments make it sound like I am Betty Draper tossing back cocktails and getting my hair done then after that I dash home just in time for my husband to bring me a new set of pearls and the nanny has dinner on the table. The truth is I haven't had a drink or my hair done in 23 months and I don't think I have ever gotten a gift for no reason at all much less a nanny! Which would sound glamorous to me but ya know between all the soaps, bon bons and manicures someone has to take care of the laundry, dirty diapers & dishes.

        So what do I do all day? Not much of anything, because after I clean up the oj, pick up the pajamas off the bedroom floor, wash the wet bedsheets, feed the baby, wash dishes, clean up whatever random lotion/makeup/marker the 3yo has gotten into, all while holding a fussy baby and talking to whatever random person who just called me like I have time to chat. Then I get to prep dinner, help with homework, cook, watch them eat dinner (for I am too busy bouncing a baby and chasing cups and spoons that fly off the table), bathe 4 kids, wash clothes, get them in bed, feed the baby and pick up the kitchen again. At some point I pass out on the couch just to wake at 2am to feed the baby and get pissed because I see drinks still on the table from last night so I have to pick them up. By then I am too exhausted and annoyed to do anything else! Now don't get me wrong my house is far from spotless, it will never be model home clean but I am very good at fake cleaning and organizing mess.

   I know some people may think, "That's a lot of work, if you was such a bother to you than why did you have so many kids?" I didn't have "so many" kids I had just enough. Any mother would understand that. I love being here for all of my children everyday, having dinner all together at home and not having to worry about having enough sick days to get off  to see their play or honor roll assembly.

The truth is I get a lot of other remarks or "ohs" about being a stay at home mom, like it is such a shock to see a mother stay with her children during the day in the 21st century. I am not lazy or uneducated, It honestly started out as an maternity thing with child number 3 then we moved and it was cheaper to stay home than the price for child care and gas. One day I will get everything cleaned and organize the way I want. I may even get a paying job if my next get rich fast plan doesn't work out. But as for right now I like being a stay at home mom, pony tail, diaper cream manicure and all.

I survived the first day of Winter Break!... Not really

Ahhh what a day it has been! I remember being so ready for winter break when I was a kid. Lazy days of sleeping till noon staying in jams all day & watching movies all night. Then staying up as late as I could, even faking asleep when my dad came in to check on me. I always had a house full of friends, for some reason mine was the house to go to, yet the smallest of everyone I knew. I went to an upper class school but I was very messed up middle class, my mom was a medical assistant and dad was and RN in the Army. They lived together from the time i was 9 till 16 yet had divorced when I was 2. My father remarried when I was 7. It went down hill when he came back from overseas.But I am pretty close to him. My mother who wasn't really a "mom" she just made up for it by buying me everything I wanted. She was also previously married and in the divorce her ex got custody of my sister.... (not sure why). So I faked it enough to make it through school then moved out. In 2000 my mother had gastric bypass surgery and after not finding the man of her dreams she became a wino. Lost her job, her licence and I took over her car. She went rehab and fried all her brain cells. One of the many reasons I moved 125 miles away from her.

Fast forward 10 or so years. I was really looking forward to winter break mostly the sleeping in part, bc heck I stay in jams all day anyway. Well for some stupid reason the whole state got out of school last Friday, but not us. This year may kids where expected to go to school today but, uhh we didn't. After cleaning up one kids room we where all exhausted. So as always I woke up on the couch at 2 am then moved to the bed and overslept. Well for some crazy reason today started out okay until the kids dad/the man I married(ineedanameforhim) went to work. Then all hell broke loose, the baby who was happily playing in his walker started crying, the phone rang, I was stuck in a laundry pile so I couldn't find the phone. Kids started fighting over the tv. I gave up. So me and baby boy went to play in his room. Then my mother called she made a little sense until she started repeating herself. So that ended in a hang up call. After the dust settled with that I went to feed baby boy in the kitchen. Next thing I knew yelling started back within 5 minutes baby food went everywhere and I stepped on glass and had to take a shower, all 5 of us were crying. So currently my house looks like MTVs spring break. I have a cut on my foot, ears are ringing, head hurts,cans are everywhere,panties in the bathroom floor, clothes & hangers on den the floor, dishes all over the house I don't know if I will sleep tonight and if so whose bed/couch it will be on. This is only day 1 with 14 more to go! All alone no MIL, gma or ex to send them off to. Save me!