I am a statistic wrapped in a juice box!

      After a whole mess of baby daddy drama we split (I don't take returns). His father and sister saw the baby on the weekends and he ran the streets while I worked. Then I ended up trying to be 18 and went out after work some. Not the smartest thing, but I wanted a life. I didn't get in much trouble but had a few late nights. (I may skip a few things here but lets just say I did it again...) By 20 I had a son and was married. It didn't last long due to him being not ready to be married. So once again I was single but living in my own place with 2 kids and working 2 jobs paying daycare alone. I had gotten my ged because by this time I was to busy working so I could live. Yet I wasn't even bar legal yet!
         
                            Fast forward to 2011 my now half grown daughter is 10 and a honor roll student. She is healthy and knows I am much younger than other parents. I am now married to a man who is not the babies father and my children understand that. We now have additional children, we were in a relationship before I was with the "baby daddy" so he knows most of my life story.

                     But whats was with this crazy-messed up-not so happy- life story? My reasons for posting this out in the open are number 1 I have never really told anyone much of this and I feel better to get it off my chest and number 2 I am sick of seeing and hearing how "Teen Moms" are perceived on television. There are a few different types of teen mothers. I know of a few that never grew up and they let their mothers take custody of the child or keep their baby but could care less about taking care of them. Some choose other options and move on to better themselves and some just do it all over again with the same dumb ass guy. Just last winter I went to the school for parents day and I was the only parent the other 2 that showed up where grandparents. I didn't know why until another little girl said to me... "Me and my three friends have something in common, our dads are in jail and we live with our grandparents." I was confused as was those poor little girls. Seems most of them had been legally adopted and their names changed. So I am pretty happy to say I wasn't a statistic in that area.

                       Now I do currently stay home with my younger children, due to money and I also already feel as if I don't spend enough time with them. If I had an away from home job I would be paying 200$+ in day care a week and my poor house would be in a wreck more so than it is.Unlike the girls on "Teen Mom" my hair isn't professionally colored, I haven't had my nails done in years and I don't buy clothes for myself. It isn't a money issue even though it would be better if I finished school and had a degree. But it is the matter of putting my kids first which is something I will and have always done. I also look and feel twice my age. I still get spoken to as a teenager when it comes to the school or random people who do not know me. I also almost feel like everything I do for my oldest I have to do it better to prove to her and the world that I am not 16 anymore. I am not proud that my life started at 16, I have missed alot of important things. I will always regret dropping out of high school and missing prom, I also dropped out of college because I had to move miles away due to rent. I do miss "home" and being a teen but I do not regret taking care of my responsibilities.

Here are a few statistics from candiesfoundation.org

• Fewer than half of teen mothers receive a high school diploma – fewer than 2% earn a college degree by age 30.

• Teen mothers face incredible challenges. They are more likely to be unemployed and live in poverty.

• 8 out of 10 fathers don’t marry the mother of their child.

• Daughters of young teen mothers are 3 times more likely to become teen mothers themselves.

• Sons of teen mothers are twice as likely to end up in prison.


I just may be a statistic but with this I am hoping some mother, daughter or teacher takes it to heart and talks to their child because mine didn't. Honestly sex was never talked about at home or school I still can't even say the word. I will say being a mom at Any age isn't a walk in the park but as a teen it is harder. I am pretty sure my sons won't end up in jail. The oldest is pretty darn smart when it comes to right and wrong. I am also damn sure my daughters will not get knocked-up because I will lock them in a room until they are done with college and make them wear ugly clothes as long as I can. As for the rest, what can you say. As for me I "chose" the path for my life now I just have to live it the best I can. Thanks for wasting you time here with me. I hope to post on a lighter note next time.
  XOXO

No fairy tale here.......... part 4

   I really don't remember much of the hospital stay. My mother moved back into our home and took a week off to help me. I didn't have many problems within the first few weeks but I do remember looking like some one threw me down a flight of stairs. I had bruises all over my arms from IVs and my hair was falling out. I also was supposed to be going back to high school at 2 weeks postpartum, I did my school work at home and turned it in. Just to find out I was automatically failed in 3 classes for attendance. I had no clue what to do about school I could start a private or home school but with no job and a new baby who was going to pay for it and watch her? Then I found out I had to wait till the baby was 6 weeks old and had shots to put her in day care. That would be after the first of the year and school was going to be halfway over, so I was told to wait till next fall. So what do I do now? I was 16 and wasn't enrolled in school or working. Heck I didn't even have my drivers license yet.  My boyfriend was younger than me but had a car and license so when it came to having to take the baby to the doctor or go to the store I had to depend on him and he drove a Datsun that was older than me. I needed my own car for me to get around and the baby to be safe. Some how I talked my mom in buying me a new red 4 door Chevy. I was super stoked but wait I still had no license. I talked my dad into taking me in my new car. I passed the test then came the end to get my papers to take to the dmv and I was stopped in my tracks, turns out you can't have you license unless you are enrolled in school. But I wasn't... I managed to tell them that I was a mom with a dependent and I had to get a letter from the child's doctor to prove that. Then I was allowed my license.  

             
             While I was waiting for a new school year me and the child's father were offered to move in his dads rental house. Seeing how he had a job and we lived pretty far away from each other we decided to move in together. Moving out at 16 really isn't that hard if you know the landlord. The power/phone/gas co will set it up in your name with no age verification. But paying them is another thing. My bf had a pretty good job at 16 but with odd hours. I was kind of scared to be alone in that house. So he found a full time day job closer to the house. Every week I got his pay check and took out some for bills, gas and groceries for the week. But by the end of the month we where eating ramen noodles and oatmeal. I am very stubborn and proud so I never asked my parents or family for money. I ended up getting a night time job waiting tables. I was doing pretty good by myself then till the baby daddy took my hours of working as his time to party. He got very stupid and started hanging around the wrong people. I only lived with him for around 9 months then while he was at work I moved out to my moms. I shoved all i could in my car. But I left some of my things and never got them back. The baby-daddy drama never stopped. On one hand I wanted to run as far away as I could and on the other I felt bad because It wasn't fair that the baby wouldn't have a father.

                    Back at my moms I saved enough for the enrollment fee for daycare and I re-enrolled myself in school. Every morning I would get me and the baby ready I would drop her off and I would head to school, after school I had to be at work by 4. So most days I would get my mother to pick her up from day care and watch her till I got home which was after 10 and I still had to do home work and take a shower. That seemed to all work for a while until sleep and not being able to spend time with my child caught up with me. I started being late for school and had to do my class work in Retract, which is basically a jail in school. I got my work done but you couldn't take test or learn anything. That lasted a week at a time so when I made it back to class I was behind again. I still really liked school but by this time I was 18 and making up some 10th grade classes. I was never going to catch up. Then for a whole week the baby was sick I didn't have a stay at home mom or grandparent, even if I did it was my child who was sick so it was my job to take care of her. So that's what I did and when she was better I took my self back up to the school and dropped out. It sucked.... In the hallway I ran into most of my friends. I really didn't know that was the last time I would speak to them.. I picked up day shift at work and that was my life.. I worked from 10-4:30 mon-sat when I wasn't working I was fighting with the ex and spending time with the baby. While all my friends were going out and getting ready for prom I was home doing  laundry and washing clothes. How was I an old lady at 18?

Part 2 The A word

   

 *This is Part 2 scroll down for mindless tv and part #1*

   The next day was a Saturday and seeing how I was only 15 and didn't have a car. I wasn't going anywhere. I stayed in my room most of the day, which wasn't really my room because I was at my moms apartment. She came to me and asked If I wanted to go eat and I said "Whatever". So we ran to the local sit-down joint and ate without saying anything to each other but "Are you ready?" In the car we talk about it a little bit and she pushed adoption on me and I brought up the fact of how my sister contacted her by a letter when she was 16 and I didn't want that to happen to me and my child. I also didn't want to get married and not be able to have children just remember the one I gave away. I told her it wasn't just a puppy I got for my birthday and didn't like anymore. It was a person. I don't think she ever said the other A word I am pretty sure I was so far along that it wasn't and option. So I pretty much stated what I was going to do and she never spoke much more about it.

            By now my whole family knew, I had only told three girlfriends and my best guy friend. I didn't care for the whole world to know. That summer I finished summer school and got prepared for a new high school. Every summer for my birthday my aunt took me shopping for school clothes. It is usually pretty fun but when you are used to being in the latest trends and starting a new year it isn't fun searching for maternity pants. When I put them on you could definitely tell I was expecting. For my birthday my cousin always took me, my aunt and mom out for dinner. I went to my aunts waiting on her to cuss me for all I was worth but she didn't.. She gave me a laundry basket full of baby lotions,soaps,and a copy of What To Expect When you are Expecting.. I was confused. But I am pretty sure they had all reached the point where if they couldn't avoid it they should embrace it. We went to dinner and had cake, I still have the photo of me in my ugly maternity shirt and bloated face.

                           A few weeks later was the start of school. I was in a new place, I knew most of the people there, the father of the child I was carrying also went to that school. I guess I should also add we were in different groups. I went to a white collar school and he had just moved from the wrong side of the tracks. Any one who knew me was shocked we were together and didn't know the rest. It also stirred up a lot of  arguments even though I was expecting his child. He wasn't the best person to be around and I saw that when went to school together. But that's a whole different story. At school I went on as always but by this time I was 8 months pregnant. I took art that was a fun class except I had to sit on a really high stool. That was a little uncomfortable. I never told my teachers I was pregnant. I didn't want to be treated differently. One afternoon I was on the way to a class that was on the third floor in the third building. (That place was huge) The teacher for that class was pretty rude and I was late. She chewed me out pretty good I was almost in tears. Then a girl I had known for years yelled "She's Pregnant!" I knew that she was only trying to stand up for me but I felt like she put me on Jerry Springer. We were still in the hallway but that happened to be the only class that the father was in. So he jumped up and may have said something uncalled for I am not sure I was too upset by the call-out to remember. So I continued to class and went to school as normal. I was doing pretty great that year and I never did great in school. Then my doctor appointments got closer together and my blood presser started to go up. I looked like the Michelin man. I started missing school the doctor put me on bed rest. Then my last appointment he said If I didn't have the baby by Monday (my due date) to come in at midnight. He also said not to eat anything after 5pm that day. I am not sure if I was ready for this but it was time. At home I didn't know what to pack I haven't even broken a bone much less stayed in a hospital over night. I remember I packed a stuffed bear my dad had bought me when I was 7. I said it was for good luck....

*Part 3 will post in the morning*